The staff at a Restaurant try and survive the dick manager and the asshole customers while still living their lives.
INT. MANAGERS OFFICE - AFTERNOON Burgens, Restaurant. Phil,30, the manager is standing in his suit. His various plaques on the wall of his achievements in schooling and business. Matthew,23, sits in front of the desk in his work outfit. PHIL You know why I’m here, right? MATTHEW Couldn’t make it in the real world? He smirks. PHIL Because, my boss, your father, and the owner of Burgens Restaurant wants this placed whipped into shape. MATTHEW So my dad hired me a baby sitter,... Great. Phil moves to the front of, Matthew. PHIL He wants to make sure that when the time comes you can run this place. MATTHEW Well, you can tell him I wont be. Matthew stands up from the chair. PHIL You will listen to me. You and your little waiter lackies will turn this cum bucket of a restaurant into something your father can be proud of. Matthew mouths the words cum bucket. He wipes his lips. MATTHEW Sounds like a mouth full. Can I get back to whipping these boys into shape? (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2. Phil, says nothing. MATTHEW By the way, Phil, love that picture with you and your mom. Great turtle neck. Phil looks to the picture on the table. Him and an older looking woman. PHIL That’s my wife you - Matthew moves out and is gone. INT. HALL - CONTINIOUS Matthew is walking out of the office up a hallway that leads to the kitchen. He stares at us. MATTHEW (to camera) I know what your wandering. What is a man like me doing working for a major ASSHOLE like him. Matthew stops. MATTHEW I maybe took a few wrong turns a few years ago. Matthew looks in thought with a smirk. INT. BEDROOM - AFTERNOON Matthew is in bed with a hot girl. She is passed out asleep and so is he. Suddenly,... His father voice rings from downstairs. FRANK (OS) Matthew! You crashed the car! that was an 80 thousand dollar piece of machinery! A severa banging on the door. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3. Matthew wakes up, so does the girl. FRANK You better not have an underage girl in their either! Matthew looks to the girl. MATTHEW How old are you again? GIRL 18,... Matthew breaths a sigh of relief. And she continious,... GIRL CONTINUED Wednesday. FRANK Matthew! Matthew gets up out of bed, the blanket with him and the girl rolls off the other side hitting the floor. INT. HALL - CONTINIOUS Matthew starts walking again. MATTHEW Theirs more, but we don’t need to see that. This is my fathers legacy. A chain of mom and pops diners that became burgens. Best burger in New York years back. Taco,48, a chef, comes up to, Matthew shaking his hand O.G style. TACO You go and see the, Pendijo? MATTHEW Of course. Are we still on? TACO (chuckling) You know it! Taco O.G shakes again. Matthew looks to us. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4. MATTHEW Taco. He’s been here since before I can remember. His real names Pedro something, but we just call him, Taco. He gives us a look like he knows what were thinking. MATTHEW And its not because he’s Mexican. It’s because on his first week here - EXT. BURGENS RESTAURANT - AFTERNOON Taco is next to the dumpster with two girls who are dressed like hookers. TACO 75 for both, right? The girls look dumbfounded. TACO I’m kidding. Lets go into the bathroom. MATTHEW He was sandwiched between those two girls for two hours. Taco and the girls head into the restaurant. INT. HALL - AFTERNOON Matthew shakes his head, that’s not right. MATTHEW Wait, why do we call you, Taco again? TACO Because, I’m Mexican! Taco slaps, Matthew’s back heading into the employ bathroom. Matthew shrugs his shoulders, walking onward. MATTHEW Where was I? Oh, yeah! He disowned me. And made me work her in this hell hole as punishment. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5. Matthew reaches the end of the hall. An old man, Anthony,60, sits in a waiter uniform and is asleep, snoring. Matthew bends down to the old man’s ear. MATTHEW The Germans are coming. Matthew walks out of view. Anthony gets up quickly holding an imaginary gun in his hands. ANTHONY Damn, you boy. He sits back down and falls back to sleep. INT. KITCHEN - AFTERNOON Charlie,28, shaggy hair, is cooking a burger on the grill and some fries. Alvin,24, is mopping the floor as if he is dancing. Matthew comes in. MATTHEW This is the scum crew. Charlie, Alvin, and that weasly eyed nerd over their. Matthew gestures to, a nerd with big round glasses. Josh, picks up his glasses washing the dishes in the sink and wiping them off. MATTHEW Is josh. Sarah,24, comes beside, Matthew hollering to, Charlie. SARAH Charlie, I need that order! CHARLIE Do I care! SARAH Godammit, Charlie! Hurry, the hell up or I’ll beat the - (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6. MATTHEW See that. You know you did. That’s her. The stuff that peoms are written about. I bet Helen of Troy didnt look that good or have that much hemph! Charlie and Sarah, continue to argue. MATTHEW Your wondering if me and her ever, you know, did it. Well, we did it. Did it real good. He looks her up and down,... And we - EXT. STREET - NIGHT Matthew, and, Sarah are standing outside of an old civic, Matthews car. They are making out. SARAH You wanna come in? MATTHEW Again and again. Sarah looks confused. MATTHEW Yes. She grabs his hand leading him. INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Her bedroom is filled with a few stuffed animals. Posters of her favorite bands, and a few psychology books her major. They are making out on the bed. SARAH Are you mad I made you wait so long. MATTHEW Not waiting anymore. Both chuckle lightly. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7. They continue to kiss, His hands touch her breast. She reaches down, slowly moving to his crouch He is about to go under her shirt when,... He goes too early. SARAH What!? what’s wrong? Matthew looks to us and rolls his eyes in disappointment. INT. KITCHEN - AFTERNOON Matthew rolls his eyes at us mimicing his past self. MATTHEW My luck, huh? And the real down and dirty thing is. She never gave me another chance. Sarah looks to, Matthew. SARAH Are you going to deal with his? Matthew looks to, Charlie. MATTHEW Lets get it finished, Charlie, before little pencil phil, comes out and gets us. Matt holds up his pinky finger. CHARLIE Fine. But, she could of asked me nicely. I aint going to be a cook forever! MATTHEW What are you going to be this week? Charlie flips a burger. CHARLIE A counselor for school. Matthew looks back to us. MATTHEW Two weeks ago he was going to work for N.A.S.A building rockets, now he is making patties. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8. Phil comes out of the hall. PHIL Get to work! It almost lunch time! The crew make fun of Phil. Mouthing words, making fun of him. One of the pretends to have anal sex with him. PHIL And bring me a soup, Matthew! Matthew turns around, he grabs a bowl off the counter. He gurgles hard, and the sound sounds in sync with the others. Matthew spits into the bowl, and as he walks past everyone else, they all do the same. The bowl as a nice layer of spit. He comes over to Charlie who stirs the already made soup, spoon in he digs some out for, Phil and into the bowl. CHARLIE The house special, Clam chowder and a bit of fisher. Charlie pats, Matthews back. Benny, black, 24 comes over wearing a waiters outfit. He taps, Matthew. BENNY BLACK What up, man, You see this guy already? MATTHEW Of course, can’t you see the bowl of spit i’m carrying? BENNY BLACK (ew) Looks delicious. Check this out. Benny holds up his phone. Alicia, "I can’t wait to bang your brains out in the bathroom" MATTHEW classy gal. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9. BENNY BLACK I had her legs up all night. Her has was on it,.... Like,.... Benny starts, humping, Matthew like a dog. MATTHEW I can do without the humping. BENNY BLACK (proudly) She couldn’t. Matthew smirks. MATTHEW And last but not least, my best friend since, 3rd grade. Benny black. Benny is gesturing a figure and acting like he is banging it and smacking its butt. MATTHEW CONTINUED Yes, he is black. Can we move it past it? Again he looks to, Benny who is now acting like he was making it rain on the girl. MATTHEW They call him Benny black, because when we met there were two Benny’s on the block. BENNY BLACK Who you talking to? MATTHEW How did you get that name, Benny Black, again? Benny looks confused at, Matthew. BENNY BLACK It aint because I’m black! Benny shakes his head walking away. Matthew looks at us again. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10. MATTHEW You. He points to us. MATTHEW Are racist. Benny walks past leaving the kitchen. BENNY BLACK It was because I was, Black. MATTHEW I figured. Benny walks away. Matthew looks at us and shrugs. MATTHEW Were the staff. BLACK: THE STAFF INT. MANAGERS OFFICE - AFTERNOON Phil is sitting with a pin his in mouth, looking over a few papers. Matthew knocks on the door with a bowl of hot steaming soup in his hands. MATTHEW (sarcastic) You ordered, and I served. He lays the bowl right in front of, Phil, with a spoon to eat it with. PHIL Took you long enough, now get out to the floor and do your job. MATTHEW Yes sir. Matthew backs up. Phil, grabs the spoon, digging into the chowder. He puts it too his lips. He sees, Matt watching. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11. PHIL You need something? MATTHEW Might want to add a little salt. Matthew walks out. INT. RESTAURANT - AFTERNOON Sarah, is walking away from a table of a mother and her children. Matthew comes over passing her. MATTHEW I say you and me tonight, dinner for two at Doug’s hot dog stand in east park. SARAH Isn’t that where that girl was raped a week ago? MATTHEW Is that a no? Sarah turns away from, Matt handing in the order to the chef. He takes it, rolling his eyes. CHARLIE Another burger and fries. SARAH World famous. MATTHEW So that is no? Sarah stops. SARAH What do you want? MATTHEW I thought I said it already. You. SARAH You had your chance and you ran out like a little girl. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12. MATTHEW Give me another chance? I might sweep you off your feet again. Matthew smirks. SARAH I doubt it. MATTHEW Come on. You want me to beg in front of our one customer? Matthew gets on his knees. Taco and the boys look out of the kitchen, watching. Matthew laying on his charm to her. MATTHEW I’ll do anything! Anything, please! please! You wanted me to beg, this is me begging. He reaches for her hand. He sees the family, the one customer staring at him and her. MATTHEW She’s having my baby. She going to Abort! (william shatner) Don’t abort the baby! Sarah looks panicked. SARAH Fine. Fine, get up. MATTHEW okay. Matthew stands. SARAH Tonight. Meet me out front. MATTHEW That worked? The group in kitchen clapp. Matthew raises in hands in appreciation, and bows in the crews honor. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13. MATTHEW Please, you are too kind. Phil comes out of the kitchen. PHIL Matt, get to work! Matt gets up going to the kitchen. MATTHEW Yes, sir! Oh, by the way,... How was the soup? Good till the last drop? Phil gestures back into the dining area. Sarah, heads over to the hostess. Michelle,22, who is all smiles. MICHELLE I’m surprised you said, yes. SARAH What else could I do? Sarah sees the family at the table finishing their water. She goes to them. Two older gentelmen come into the restaurant. MICHELLE How many? OLD (angry) How many do you see? He looks to his friend who is looks as old as he does, wearing golfing clothes. OLD I told you. This generation is dumber than shi - MICHELLE Right, this way, sir. DINING AREA: She sits them down at the table a bit away from the other family. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14. MICHELLE Waiter will be right with you. She goes back near the door. KITCHEN: Matthew is at the corner staring out, seeing the new costumers coming in. Benny comes over to, Matthew all excited. BENNY BLACK Bro, stop stalking that girl, I just got invited to a bad ass party in Tanner Square tonight and we both are going. MATTHEW (appalled) Benny, You know stalking is illegal. And I’m not stalking because she said, Yes. Benny pretends to fall asleep and snaps back awake. BENNY BLACK Sorry I do that when people get hung up on girls or when I’m bored. So? The party? MATTHEW I can’t. BENNY BLACK Don’t do this. Victoria’s going to be there. Matthew raises an eyebrow. MATTHEW Is she? What times the party? BENNY BLACK Starts at 7. MATTHEW I’ll see you there. Matthew walks out into the Dinning Area. up to the old men. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15. MATTHEW Hello, I’m Mike,... and I’ll be your waiter. The old man is holding the bread rolls looking angry. He pushes them on Matthew. OLD You call this bread, their colder than a turkey’s balls. Bring me some hot bread! Or is that too hard high school drop out! MATTHEW No, sir. Not hard at all. In fact, we have our own in house personal warmer right here. Matthew grabs one of the rolls, opens his pants and puts the roll down into his crotch. OLD What the hell are you doing, boy! MATTHEW Just another few seconds, sir. Their sticking. Matthew takes the bread out of his pants and puts it in front of the old man who is angrier than hell. MATTHEW Eat up, you don’t want them to get cold. The old man is looking at the bread with disgust. Matthew sees a hair on the bread, he reaches to it grabbing it. MATTHEW Sorry, thats mine. OLD I,... I want to speak to the manager now! What is your name! MATTHEW Mike, sir. OLD Mike, what!? (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 16. MATTHEW Hunt. OLD Get me the manager, now! Mike! MATTHEW At once. Matthew walks away. The old man tosses the bread away. His friend looking disturbed by all this. OLD #2 (whispers) I told you this place was bad. Phil comes over in a huff. PHIL I’m the manager, Phil Roberts. How can I help? The crew hears the yelling, most coming out to watch. Matthew stands near Phil. OLD Mike Hunt! PHIL Who? The crew laugh. OLD Mike Hunt! Mike Hunt! Mike Hunt! PHIL Sir, we don’t use that kind of language here at Burgens Restaurant. The family at the other table, the mother covers her childerns ears. MATTHEW I told you, Phil. He’s got a potty mouth. OLD Him! That employee! took the bread and, - (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17. MATTHEW You don’t even know my name! OLD Mike Hunt! PHIL Sir, excuse me! Phil grabs, Matthew. INT. MANAGERS OFFICE - AFTERNOON Phil pushes, Matthew against the wall angry. PHIL You think this some kind of game! MATTHEW I know the difference between real life and a game, Phil. PHIL You’re a schmuck you know that, right? Your a waste of talent. MATTHEW Ouch, Phil. Phil pushes on, Matthew again. PHIL This isn’t just some restaurant to your dad, its his legacy. Its the first - MATTHEW First, Burgen restaurant built? He slaved away. I know, I heard everything growing up. And You know what, I could care less. Matthew moves past, Phil who lets him go. MATTHEW I’m taking off. Got a party to go to. Matthew leaves, Phil kicks the desk a little too hard and holding his foot in pain. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18. PHIL Dammit! INT. RESTAURANT - AFTERNOON Time Lapse: The servers moving fast, serving. People coming and going. The restaurant holding more than 15 people and fading. Everyone gone. INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT A boy with long hair dances mopping the floor, while others wipe down the tables. INT. PANTRY - NIGHT Taco is on his cell phone. TACO Yeah, baby, I’ll be home in an hour. Okay? He opens the pantry door and inside, Charlie and Alvin are getting high and eating a bag of chips. CHARLIE Shut the door man! ALVIN (mouth full) Yeah, man! TACO Yeah, bye baby. Taco puts his phone away. TACO What the hell are you two doing? Your going to lose yours jobs. ALVIN Who cares man. Alvin’s eyes are glosses over, its his first time. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 19. TACO Man, are you okay? Your eyes. Charlie looks to, Alvin and starts laughing. He takes another hit. TACO Come on you guys got to get out of here and go home. Charlie holds out the joint to, Taco. CHARLIE Take a break with us, It’s like the best feeling. It really helps you think. Taco gestures it away. TACO No, I shouldn’t I’m going to drive. CHARLIE PERFECT! this stuff makes you the perfect driver! Everything slows down its like gives you spider sense. TACO Spider sense? ALVIN From spiderman, Taco. TACO Really? Both Charlie and Alvin looking high as hell, smirk. TACO Maybe a few hits. Just a few. (in spanish) Please, God, help me for this. Taco takes the joint and smokes it, puff puff. TACO Wow, that is some good - ALVIN Don’t hog it man.
20. EXT. BURGENS RESTAURANT - NIGHT Sarah is standing outside of the Restaurant. She is sitting on the hood of her honda, blue. She is dressed nice, she went home took a shower and changed. She looks at her watch, past 8. Phil comes out of the restaurant removing the keys from his pocket, Sarah is parked next to him. Bmw. PHIL Thought you went home? SARAH Meeting, Matt here for a date. Phil has his eyes about to unlock his door. PHIL Unbelievable. SARAH Excuse me? He turns. PHIL Where is he? SARAH Probably running a little late. Phil smiles shrugging. PHIL Probably right. Or he could be at that kick ass party at Tanner street. SARAH Party? PHIL Yeah, You didn’t know? Benny and Matt were talking about it earlier. How their going to rock out! SARAH (disapointed) Oh? Phil sees this. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 21. PHIL Why do you waste your time? SARAH I - PHIL You know he only cares about himself right? SARAH He cares about - PHIL About you? No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t care about you, them, benny, he only cares about himself. Because if he cared, instead of joking around all day being rude to customers, he would be helping this place, but he’s not. SARAH He just doesn’t see this place as his future. PHIL Wow, your really in denial. He’s left you waiting here. You know, hey, maybe your right. Maybe, he doesn’t, but this place as two month to get into shape or we close. SARAH What? Two months? PHIL That’s it. If we don’t start showing major profit, were done. You and the laughing crew will have to find another job, but everyone’s Hero Matt, well he is a trust fund baby, he doesn’t have to work, unlike you, or me. Phil opens his car door getting in it, turning the car on and rolling down the window. PHIL I hate to say it, but you might want to start looking for another job.
22. Phil backs out of the parking spot and drives away. Sarah looking upset. INT. HOUSE - NIGHT Music blares as a house full of people rock out! People crowd the living room, dancing to rave music. Red cups in their hands filled to the brim with beer. KITCHEN: Matthew and Benny around a table taking different colored shots off the stomach of a girl. Matt goes first than, Benny. They high five, the crowd goes wild. A girl hand them a couple more shots. BENNY BLACK I told you this party would be CRAZY! MATTHEW I never doubted you, crap. I’m drunk! Benny and Matt laugh. A girl with red hair comes over, grabbing Benny by the arm. RED Come on, lets take a walk. BENNY BLACK Guess thats my cue. MATTHEW Lay it down, black magic! BENNY BLACK They don’t call me benny Black for nothing! Another high five and Benny dissapers with Red into the crowd of people. Matthew grabs another shot, shooting it back. He wobbles when he walks. He moves through the people, staring up and down at all the girls he passes, moving to a set of stairs. He sits down. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 23. His head in his hands. MATTHEW I know what your thinking. He is drunk. Matthew stares at us. MATTHEW I am. And for the oddest reason I feel like I’m forgetting something. Taco enters the party with a six pack in his hands. TACO Hey, Matty, I thought you were going out with this girl tonight! Matthew raises his head suprised. MATTHEW That’s excatly right. What are you doing here? TACO Charlie got me high, can’t home. So I drink! Taco passes. Matthew again looks at us. MATTHEW I know what your thinking, I am an Asshole, right? Your thinking it. I’m not, I just forgot. I forgot. Kimberly comes over flopping down beside, Matthew. KIMBERLY Who are you talking too? MATTHEW Them. Matthew points to us. KIMBERLY I must be really drunk. MATTHEW I’m kidding. I just think outloud. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 24. KIMBERLY Ok. So, like you wanna make out? Matthew looks appuald. MATTHEW I don’t even know your name. KIMBERLY It’s Kimberly. MATTHEW I’m Matthew. He holds out his hand they shake. KIMBERLY Now? MATTHEW Yes. They both start kissing each other. EXT. SHED - NIGHT A shed with a sock on the door. Benny and the red hair girl are inside. RED You ever done it in a shed before? BENNY BLACK Baby, Their aint a place Benny aint dont it. The sound of them kissing. A squeak. BENNY BLACK What was that? RED Don’t stop. The kissing continues. A sqeak again. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 25. BENNY BLACK I heard it. RED Me too. BENNY BLACK Holy hell! The doors swing open, the girl with the red hair is pushed out of the way in her panties and bra, as Benny runs out of the shed with his pants down and shirt off. DUDE Dude, what’s wrong? Benny opens his mouth to answer, but the squeak becomes clear. A racoon comes out of the shed and runs away. BENNY BLACK Were all good here. Benny walks over to Red helping her up. BENNY BLACK Ready to give it another go? Red looks at him disgusted, she turns and walks away. BENNY BLACK Is that a no? Your leaving your clothes? I aint bring back to you! I aint. Benny pulls up his pants goes in carefully, scared, grabbing his shirt and putting it back on. BENNY BLACK Now, my balls going to be blue! Benny walks away sulking. INT. HOUSE - NIGHT Matthew and Kimberly are still kissing. They pull apart, Sarah is their watching them. She can’t believe it. MATTHEW No, no! Sarah! (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 26. Matthew gets up to go, after Sarah, but Kimblery pulls at him. KIMBERLY Don’t leave me, we can go upstairs, I’m wearing red panties. She tries to be sexy about it. MATTHEW Reds not really my color. Matthew leaves. EXT. TANNER STREET - NIGHT He rushes up to the end of the lawn where, Sarah is unlocking her car door. MATTHEW Hey, Wait. Let me explain. Matthew goes to touch her, but she rejects him like his touch hurts. SARAH Don’t touch me. MATTHEW It’s not my fault. I meant to only stay for five minutes, but Benny. He shoved drinks in my hand and time passed. Sarah just stares her eyes watering. MATTHEW Look come back inside, we can drink and dance. SARAH He’s was right. MATTHEW What? Who was right? SARAH He told me you only care about yourself. I didn’t see it before, but its true. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 27. MATTHEW It’s not my fault. SARAH Grow up, Matt. No one made you drink, no made you kiss that girl. You did that. Don’t talk to me again, don’t ask me out again. This is it. Matthew touches her arm, and she pushes him away. A slap across his face. SARAH That’s for making me like you and taking it away. Sarah gets in her car and drives away. Matthew standing rubbig his face. He stares at us. MATTHEW Maybe, I was wrong. Maybe I am an Asshole. Benny comes behind, Matthew. BENNY BLACK Was she pissed? MATTHEW Very. Hows red? BENNY BLACK Not too good. MATTHEW Better luck next time I guess. BENNY BLACK What you doing? Matthew doesn’t turn to face, Benny he keeps his eyes on us, ahead. MATTHEW I think I’m walking home. You? A heavy set girl walks past looking, Benny up and down. She blows him a kiss as she enters the house. He slowly backs up from Matthew. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 28. BENNY BLACK I’ll see you tomrrow. He runs into the house. Matthew starts to walk away, when, Bam! A car hits him and knocks him on the ground. He is flat on his back. KIMBERLY Oh my god are you okay! He looks at us. MATTHEW Yep, I’m an asshole. FADE OUT: END.